Drabble Mouth
by Veroxion
Summary: /PairingDrabbles. MainlySasuSaku\ 09: Either Sasuke had a sock fetish or he was just trying to annoy her. /SasuSaku\
1. Pretty Lady :!: Sasuke x Sakura

**title // **_pretty lady  
_**prompt // **_death, marriage  
_**pairing //** _sasuke x sakura  
_**warning //** _n/a  
_**summary // **_because honestly; this pretty lady wasn't going to hell_

**authors notes // **_this is what happens when your mother throws your laptop into a pool... you have to resort back to your old, bulky PC with a lame keyboard. __**this hasn't been edited**__, as i have had to use wordpad :( _

* * *

"Do you have any idea how stupid you are?" he whispered in that husky voice of his.

"Yes." she breathed out. "I understand everything."

"This is ridiculous! Sasuke, you can't just expect her to--"

"Fuck up, dobe."

"Fat chance there! Y'know, I thought you had a bit more decency than this but obviously not." the blond turned to the girl standing a few mere steps away from him. "Look, kid, girl, pinky--whatever name you go by, don't let bastard here charm you with his looks!"

Sigh.

"Naruto, shut up."

"Make me, bastard! We are not using this girl as a sacrifice to get into the afterlife. That's just wrong!"

"When the portal opens to take her, we will have a chance. She wants to do this."

"What makes you think she's goin' to hell, huh?"

"Because I say so!" Sasuke growled out, flashing his friend a dark look before turning back towards the girl, gripping her shoulders tightly. "A gang will be passing here just after midnight. Too drunk to try anything, one of them has a gun. Quick and painless--"

"Bastard! Don't just talk about death like that! Look, girl--!"

"My name is Sakura." she interupted softly. One of her hands was carassing the hard firm one on her shoulder, a small smile ghosted over her lips. "It's okay, I know what I'm doing." she turned back to Sasuke, a dreamy look of longing in her emerald eyes as the blond gave a snort of disgust. "Bastard, I can't believe--"

"I'm not doing anything." Sasuke snapped out.

"Hah, sure, bastard and that's why she's gone all dremy-eyed."

"We're married." Sasuke stated.

Blank look.

"Um, okay, what?!"

"When I was alive. This is my wife, Sakura."

"AND WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ANY OF THIS?!"

"Because I only met you last year. I died four years ago, loser."

Naruto gave a snort. "You could have said something."

Sasuke shrugged. "It's personal."

"So, Sakura is..."

"Willingly doing this, so she can be with me."

Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his glossy hair. "Well, shit, no wonder your all bitchy. Mourning over the fact you can't have steamy sex with your lady--"

"Come on, dobe."

"Huh? WAIT, SASUKE! YOUR LEAVING YOUR PRETTY LADY IN THE ALLEY! ALONEEE!!"

* * *

**authors notes //** _this is fail :(_

* * *


	2. My Klutzy Man :!: Shikamaru x Ino

**title // **_my __klutzy man_

**prompt // **_weight-lifting, lillies_

**pairing //** _shikamaru x ino_

**warning //** _sexy scenes_

**summary // **_he was such a man... and such a klutz!_

**authors notes // **_thanks for the reviews(!), __for any interested, i will be posting an actual multi-chaptered fanfiction soon. just a few more touch-ups and it will be complete but until then, enjoy. __**this hasn't been edited, excuse all mistakes.**_

* * *

"Oh, Shika-kun! You're such a man!" one Yamanaka Ino squeeled one early morning as she saw her boyfriend lifting weights... shirtless and sweating all over. Hearts were literally flying out of her eyes.

"Troublesome..." was all she received in reply.

Shikamaru finally set the weight back on the stand and started to move over to her.

Insert drool here.

Shikamaru, seeing the dream-like expression on her face sighed and cupped her cheeks, tilting his head to kiss her.

Thing's began to get pretty heated.

_**Crack.**_

Both Shikamaru and Ino froze in their desperate struggle to get to the bedroom as Ino eyed the glass vase and flowers on the floor, she ;et out a gasp and shoved Shikamaru away from her as fast she could.

"SHKAMARU, YOU KLUTZ! THOSE WERE THE LILLIES MY FATHER GAVE ME!"

"Troublesome..."

* * *

**authors notes // **_this was hard to write (i suck at shikaino). so this drabble is also fail... also, i'm willing to do prompt requests for this collection :)_


	3. Oh The Fool :!: Neji x Tenten

**title // **_oh the fool  
_**prompt // **_tea, bikes  
_**pairing //** _neji x tenten  
_**warning //** _failed humor  
_**summary // **_if she ever lived through this, then she would marry the fool_

**authors notes // **_crap. um, okay. first attempt at a nejiten. i literally pulled these out of a (plastic box that used to hold chocolate) magic hat. __**this has been edited, excuse all mistakes.**_

* * *

Tenten sighed. She knew Lee was a nut but honestly; Neji as well? Couldn't Kami-sama give her a break from all these freaks in life?

Neji was riding his bike (or as he liked to put it 'working out') and had refused to come inside for lunch. Now he had resorted to trying to eat while trying to peddle at the same time. Keyword was trying; he was making a fool out of himself and most of all, her, because she was also a fool for trotting behind him and helping him stay balanced.

"Hn. Tenten, give me my tea."

Arrogant prick.

"Um, Neji, I don't think that's wise!"

"Hand me my tea woman, or so help me I will--"

"Fine." and the tea was reluctantly handed over... and was spilled all down Neji's shirt.

He then fell over.

People laughed.

Tenten stared.

Neji snorted.

"...well, um, you know what they say, never drink and drive!"

* * *

**authors notes // **_haha. that is all :)_


	4. Um, Sorry Boss :!: Suigetsu x Karin

**title // **_um, sorry boss?  
_**prompt // **_horny, dead-line  
_**pairing //** _suigetsu x karin (side pairing: sasuke x sakura)  
_**warning //** _horny suigetsu and um, sasuke  
_**summary //**_ sexy men always got their woman served on a silver platter_

**authors notes // **_squee; i have fallen in love with suika. they are awesome together. mention of sasusaku, because i couldn't help it (everyone seems to be writing angst/tradgedy/horror/hurt/comfort. so depressing). __**this hasn't been edited, excuse all mistakes.**_

* * *

"Suigetsu! HAND'S OFF!" Karin hissed, slapping her boyfriends hands away from her rear as she tried to get ready for work. Slipping into a pair of devil red heels, she straightened out her pencil skirt before slapping his hands away _again. _She wagged a finger in front of his face. "I'm serious! Because of you and that abomanation below your naval, I almost forgot about my work!"

Suigetsu snorted and leaned back in bed, throwing a arm over his forehead and watching with amusment as Karin stuffed various items into her purse. "You love it, babe. Besides, your gay chicken-haired boss can wait."

"No he can't! I need this work in today otherwise my ass is--!"

"Pretty damn hot." Suigetsu interupted, grinning ear to ear.

Karin huffed and tried to look angry but faltered when Suigetsu gave her _**that look.**_

He pouted.

"Is he really more important than me?"

"Suigetsu--"

"Because, if your having some kind of affair--"

"HE'S MARRIED!!" Karin screeched, stomping her foot down to make her point, not noticing that the very thin heel had snapped. "To SAKURA, who is like, my best friend so like, what the hell? HOW DARE YOU ASSUME STUFF, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Suigetsu snickered. "Then again, who would cheat on me?"

Karin snorted and eyed him, raking her eyes over his glowing chest, curtesy of the sunlight from the open window.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Oh, damn you." Karin mumbled as she started to un-button her blouse, slinking towards him as she did so.

Suigetsu smirked, welcoming her with open arms.

* * *

_"This is Karin's answering machine, just leave a message and I'll get back to you later!"_

_**"Karin, it's Sasuke. Your deadline is tomorrow since--**_**damn**_**, that's good, Sakura--I wasn't able to make it in today because... um... HN."**_

**authors notes // **_i actually like this... for some reason. although i think suigetsu is OOC. oh well _

* * *


	5. Sexy Sunnies :!: Kakashi x Anko

**title // **_sexy sunnies  
_**prompt // **_sunglasses, promises  
_**pairing //** _kakashi x anko  
_**warning //** _n/a  
_**summary // **_what would a girl be without her sexy sunnies? Oh and her man, too_

**authors notes // **_kakashi and anko are like, seventeen or something. use your imgination! __**this hasn't beeen edited, exucse all mistakes.**_

"PLEASSSEEEEE!" Anko begged, throwing herself at her boyfriend as they strolled down the side-walk by the beach.

"Hmm?" he hummed in reply.

She put on her best pouty face. "You promised to buy me these new sunglasses!"

"Did I now?"

"Yes, you did."

"I see..."

"Kakashi! I **demand** you buy me some sunglasses!"

"Ah, magic word my precious princess?"

"...are you on drugs? AND GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF THAT BOOK!" she screamed in his ear, pulling at his eye-patch before letting it go, watching in amusement as it snapped back onto his face. He closed the book in a huff. "Why must I buy you sunglasses again? You already have twenty-something pairs."

"Kakashi... you _promised_."

"I don't seem to re-call...." the teenager trailed off casually, opening his orange book once more.

"You know my pet snake, Orochimaru? Yes, well, you see, he has this sudden craving for Hatake Kakashi, do you know where I can get any of that?" Anko hissed in his ear, very much ressembling her _pretty, darling baby_ pet snake.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"...lead the way, my queen." Kakashi muttered, snapping his book shut, a small shiver of terror going down his spine as he obeyed his woman's wants.

* * *

**authors notes // **_i do like this. nope, not one little bit._

* * *


	6. Under My Bed :!: Sasuke x Sakura

**title // **_under my bed  
_**prompt // **_monsters, teddy bears  
_**pairing //** _sasuke x sakura  
_**warning //** _chibi!pairing and fluff  
_**summary // **_him fighting off the monsters made him more than prince charming_

**authors notes // **_written during my japanese class. my sensei is awesome = he is a sasusaku shipper :) __**this hasn't been edited, excuse all mistakes.**_

* * *

Another flash of lightning and little Haruno Sakura was shaking in her bed, hiding under the covers. It wasn't the lightning or thunder that scared her, it was what happened under the bed while the storm took place.

They weren't playing nice.

Those wretched monsters had taken a hostage! Namely, her beloved teddy-bear named Mr. Fudge Cake.

Of course, she didn't usually believe in monsters but she had heard noises and movement from under the bed.

Sakura refused to move when she heard a small thump, that was until the door opened. "Your being too loud..." a tired voice muttered.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura launched herself at her best friend. Sasuke mumbled something under his breath. "Sasuke-kun, can you stay with me?" Sakura whispered into the soft cotton of his shirt.

"...um, why?"

"Because _they _took Mr. Fudge Cake!"

Mr. Fudge Cake?

Oh, right. That ridiculous bear she never let out of her sight.

"They?" he decided to question instead.

"The monsters." Sakura whispered out quickly.

"Sakura, theres no--"

She burst into tears.

"Okay! Fine!"

* * *

Sakura snuggled into Sasuke.

"Your a much better teddy-bear than Mr. Fudge Cake, Sasuke-kun."

* * *

**authors notes // **_my sensei also read this... if you watch shugo chara! he's just like nikaidou, only __**way **__cooler :)_


	7. Things For Love :!: Sai x Ino

**title // **_things for love  
_**prompt // **_waxing, tampons  
_**pairing //** _sai x ino (side pairing: sasuke x sakura)  
_**warning //** _sai is oblivious and sasuke is a ditz  
_**summary // **_he just hadn't read the manual of 'how to buy female waxing strips'_

**authors notes //**_ written during social studies. thanks a lot brittney for pointing out that i fail at this pairing. __**this hasn't been edited, excuse all mistakes.**_

* * *

"Sai, baby..." Ino muttered, poking her head out of the bathroom. Sai looked up from his painting, smiling his usual smile. "Yes, beautiful?"

Ino blushed and giggled. "Um, I have a request..." she trailed off, putting on her best pouty face, knowing it probably wouldn't work. Her boyfriend was still oblivious when it came to facial expressions.

"What is it, princess?"

"Um..."

* * *

"Where do you find waxing strips?" Sai asked with a straight face and a smile.

The store clerk stared at him for a moment before raising a fine black eyebrow. "Male bathroom products are in isle nine."

"Female waxing strips." Sai corrected.

The store clerk looked shocked. Then she noticed his belly-shirt. She gave a half-smile and sort-of understood.

**(GAY!).**

"Isle ten, sir."

"Thank-you, beautiful." Sai called over his shoulder as he made his way to isle ten. Stopping before it, he stared down before noticing only one other person.

It was Uchiha Sasuke, contemplating over tampon sizes. Sai came up behind him. "I would recommend the _extra small_, Sasuke-kun."

The Uchiha spun around, eyes flaring. "Shut up." he snarled.

Sai smiled. "Are you here to buy female waxing strips?"

Sasuke stared oddly at the man in front of him. "Hn. No. I'm buying tampons--!"

"Ah, that time of the month I see." Sai chimed happily.

"--for _**Sakura!**_"

Sai seemed to nod before he patted the Uchiha on the shoulder. "Extra small, then, Sasuke-kun. That time at the hot springs was a horrible sight to see. I thought all Uchiha were 'big and mighty'."

Sasuke flushed furiously, glaring at Sai as the clueless man made his way down the isle toward the other feminine products.

Staring back at the tampon boxes, Sasuke stuffed the extra large into the shopping basket he had in his hand before stalking off to where the tomatoes were and then proceeding to rudely ask a store clerk if the tampons came in any larger sizes.

* * *

Sai smiled, uncertain at the numerous female products in front of him. What brand did Ino like again? Some pink boxed brand that smelled weird...

Sai reached his hand out and picked out a box, staring at it before dumping it into the basket he was carrying and making his way to the check-out. The cashier merely grabbed the box, passing it over the scanner. "How's your day, sir?" she asked with no enthusiasim.

"My girlfriends legs are hairy." Sai stated blankly. The cashier stared at him. "...which is why you are buying waxing strips. Is that all, sir?"

"Of course, ugly."

. . .

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME UGLY?!"

* * *

Sai later returned home with the wax strips and a large bruise on his face. Ino was still in the bathroom.

"SAI! YOU'RE HOME!" she called, almost happily.

"Yes and I have your waxing strips."

"Well, um, good but I need something else."

"And that would be?"

"Tampons."

* * *

**authors notes // **_men are clueless (unfortunately). anyone seen those libra ads? yes, well, thats where i got some of the tampon idea from :D_


	8. Perfect Princess :!: Sasuke x Sakura

**title // **_perfect princess  
_**prompt // **_princess, photo  
_**pairing //** _sasuke x sakura  
_**warning //** _n/a  
_**summary // **_everyone wanted her to be a perfect princess. she just wanted to be herself_

**authors notes //** _um, this is a bit longer than i intended it to be. if it went over 5KB then i was going to post it as a oneshot. enjoy!_

* * *

Queen Haruno frowned. In every freaking photo her daughter was scowling; or rather, just not smiling to put it bluntly. Which meant she wasn't happy. Which wasn't good because when little Sakura wasn't happy, she usually dissapeared and caused the entire kingdom to resort to disaster.

She knew her daughter hated being put into frilly dresses and having her long hair styled up onto her head just to have her portrait painted or the rare picture taken. Unfortunately, the frilly dresses and the perfect updo also came with an upset girl who didn't smile.

The Queen slumped in her chair.

* * *

Sakura ran down the streets, ducking into an alley to avoid her father's men coming after her. The movement was so quick and she was so small that they ran straight past the alley-way and continued down the road.

She sat down on the pavement, not caring that the deep green dress she was wearing was getting covered in dirt and mud. Carefully, she slipped her hand into the small bag she was holding and withdrew the kitchen knife she had stolen from the kitchen earlier that day. Bringing her hair down the fancy bun her mother's maids had put it up in, her pink tresses fell down her back and without a second thought, she grabbed a handful of hair and sliced through it with the knife.

Pink strands fell to the floor and Sakura let a small smile appear on her childish face.

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke walked happily beside his mother. It was Sunday and the market was full of people buying various items from food to clothes. Sasuke's mother let go of his hand to place some tomatoes into the basket she was carrying and pay the man behind the stall. She then turned around, ready to grasp her son's small, little hand... to realise he had gone.

* * *

Sasuke let out a 'oof' as he fell onto the ground. Panicking, he opened the rucksack his mother had made him. He smiled. The camera he had received for his brithday from Itachi was alright. He carefully pulled it out. He hadn't taken any pictures yet, his brother had told him not to use the film up all at once so only special pictures were allowed to be taken.

He stood up, only to realise he had been pushed into an alley. He spotted someone near the end. Pink hair and green grass dress. He gaped.

"You're..."

She froze and whipped around, emerald eyes wide.

"...the princess."

She seemed to be in front of him in an instant. "Please don't tell mother and father!"

"Um..."

"Please?"

He didn't know what to say, but he nodded. She smiled and without noticing, his camera rose and snapped a photo of her. When he lowered the camera, he was met with shocked emerald eyes. "Did you just... take a picture of me?"

He gulped but replied with: "You looked... pretty."

She flushed and looked down at herself. Her green dress was stained with mud and dirt and her hair was horribly cropped. "...really?" she whispered and Sasuke shrugged, pointing to his camera. "My brother said I had to only take pictures of special things."

Sakura felt warmth begin to pool in her heart. She smiled once more, leaned over and gave Sasuke a peck on the cheek.

"Thank-you." she whispered before she ran past him. Sasuke stared in front of him for awhile before rushing out of the alley, frantic onyx eyes looking everywhere. "Sasuke! Baby, where are you?!" his mother's panicked voice reached his ears and he ran over to her. "Sasuke, I was looking all over for you!" she scolded, her arms resting on her hips. "Just what exactly where you doing?"

Sasuke blinked innocently. "I took a photo of a perfect princess."

* * *

**author's notes // **_this has to be my favourite so far. sorry for the long wait...! _


	9. Sex Fetish :!: Sasuke x Sakura

**title // **_sex fetish  
_**prompt // **_socks, sex-life  
_**pairing //** _sasuke x sakura (side pairing: shikamaru x ino)  
_**warning // **_mention of sex  
_**summary // **_either sasuke had a sock fetish or he was just trying to annoy her_

**authors notes // **_written during science, like months ago when i was actually IN school (summer holidays, here). sorry that this is crap and that i'm late in updating. i dont really have an excuse. i wish i did. dedicated to **xena**, because she is awesome._

* * *

"So," Ino asked coyly, "how's your sex-life with the most hunkiest man alive, Sakura?"

Sakura didn't say anything and continued to sip at her coffee quietly. Ino raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me you have actually _had_ sex." the blonde asked, exasperated. "Yeah." Sakura muttered, frowning a little.

"What? Is it not satisfying enough?" Ino asked, getting more curious by the minute. Sakura shrugged. "My sex life is fine... it's just," Sakura let out a dramatic sigh and Ino and Hinata waited in anticipation.

"Sasuke leaves his socks on during sex."

Ino and Hinata were silent for a moment. Ino burst out laughing. "Is that a problem?"

Sakura coughed awkwardly. "Well, yeah. It's weird."

Ino had her 'thinking face' on. "Well, maybe he's impaitient--just tell him if it's bothering you."

Sakura shook her head defiantly. "Um, actually, I was wondering if you could ask Shikamaru to tell him... for me."

Ino gawked. "You've got to be kidding."

* * *

"Sakura told Ino to tell me to tell you to take your damn socks off during sex."

"Tch, hell, she leaves her bracelet on. It always digs into me. Tell Ino to tell Sakura _that_."

* * *

**authors notes // **_this didn't come out how i wanted it to... but i guess its alright. i think its fail. i'll try update this series more often, though. that is, when im not indulging in the sims 3. :)_


End file.
